Well, once again I fail at blogging even semi-often. Blame the PPD, blame the fact that I am now back to work, blame that I have a busy 16 month old on my hands. Most of all, I just have to accept it. I’m busy these days between work, home, social life, and nurturing an amazing little dude who keeps learning new things there’s so little time left for anything. Sometimes though, the world hands you an excuse and you accept it. Even if it’s kind of a chocolate coated turd.
Mister J has hand foot mouth. So far he’s not too bothered by it, it more looks awful. Problem is however, I had no idea he was sick with it (thanks mother in law….) so when he was really cranky on my day off (Thursday) I chucked him into a warm bath with some soothing lavender bubbles and we snuggled and nursed and just hung out. Well apparently that was a huge mistake. So I’ve been super exposed to the HFM virus and am already feeling super shitty. Not only is my baby going through this awful sickness, but there’s a good chance I will too. (And well, also a chance Hubs does as well). So that’s a thing.
Plus side, it gave me a reason to avoid going to a baby shower this weekend as I didn’t want us to expose anyone else to the virus, especially the pregnant mother as I’m not 100% on the risk to the baby or mom for that matter. I didn’t really want to go anyways, but this gave me a viable reason not to go other than “I don’t really want to. Sorry. Real answer was I didn’t want to go because my anxiety was so high. Just getting the invitation almost 2 months ago sent me into a full blown panic attack. It was not something I thought would be a good idea to go deal with since the baby shower was for a baby boy, I was expecting a large number of eyes on Mister J and I and I couldn’t handle having my 16 month old getting into everything, and trying to keep him safe, and fielding all those annoying questions about raising a male child, because somehow in the 16 months he’s been alive, I suddenly know everything? Yeah I’m still at the “hold on tight, pray for the best” stage because I have no idea how the hell to deal with things, everyday is a new challenge. Most recently being “Keep J’s hands out of his diaper and out of his poop while changing him”. Did I mention he’s now got 14 teeth and 2 more coming soon? Yeah, life is super fun here.
But all that said, I’m thankful I decided that going to this party wasn’t going to be a good time for me. Being sick was just convenient, albeit unfortunate since no one wants to be sick.
Sometimes you just have to learn to accept what the world gives you. Sometimes that’s a virus that is easily passed to different people, and sometimes it’s the thought that maybe, just maybe, today is better spent taking care of yourself. You can’t fill someone else’s cup if yours is already empty.